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This one starts at a place called Spring Jam up in the twin cities...and its a block party type deal where every house is having a party because its the end of the semester.

While partying like a rockstar is going great, a girl gets more and more interested. We are dancing, groping, making out a little bit...and finally as one party is winding down we decided to make the trip back to her place. We get to her place, I'm practically black-out drunk by this point and we proceed to have buck-wild sex all over her apartment which is suprisingly empty. But, nevertheless, she was moving out.

Well, the next day I wake up from being freezing cold, and I'm ass naked in this bed with no sheets on it. I'm really fuzzy, and trying to piece the night together. It slowly comes back to me and I start to figure things out, when I give a "Hello?" holler...and get no answer. I'm thinking, "What the fuck?"...so I roll to the side of the bed..."uh-oh"....no undies, no pants, no shirt, no wallet, no phone, no nothing. "Shit!" What the hell do I do?

So I scope around the house and can only find my shoes. "What the fuck is going on?"...I look outside and sure enough, in the parking lot...vans with trailers, trucks, and of course a bunch of parents to help move everybody out. "Fuck this"

So now I am freaking out what the hell to do, ass naked at some empty apartment wondering where my shit is. Then it hits me...."fucking bitch"..."That fucking bitch left me here."...There was nothing there except the bed.

As I mull this over the urge to crap comes over me, and I head to the bathroom. No TP. So I scrounge around the house and find some of those old walgreens newpaper inserts and head to do my duty. And thats when it hits me. "Revenge!!"

After dropping a very viscous (slippery and wet) mess, I use the wallgreens insert to wipe. But instead of flushing said paper, I proceed to the living where I use the shit-covered rag to spell out in large shitty letters "F-U-C-K"...It lasted until I couldn't take it anymore and I flushed the paper.

Completely satisfied with my revenge, and a quick shower later, (I rolled around on the bed to dry) I put my shoes on and grabbed what was remaing of the paper and wrapped myself in a newspaper skirt. Off I was! I schooled that bitch...


And that's when the door opens.............



She walks in holding my pants and shirt nicely freshly washed and folded with socks/keys/wallet/phone all on top in one hand, and a bag of McDonalds breakfast in the other...talking while she walks in "sorry I left you so long".........